Funny Quotes On Beer The Most Popular Drinking Quotations

83 Funny Quotes On Beer: The Most Popular Drinking Quotations

Cheap beer has a tendency of highlighting a person’s idiosyncrasies. Intoxicated individuals will say and do things they would never consider doing sober. No matter if you prefer wine or whiskey, even a pickleback, there is something humorous to be found in everyone’s alcohol-induced ramblings.

Do you love strong beer? Do you like to share your knowledge about craft ales or quaff them for fun? In this post, you’ll find 83 most popular and famous drinking phrases that are both humorous and insightful.

Funny Beer Quotes from Comics. 

“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”

W.C. Fields

“I can party like a twenty-four-year-old, but it takes me almost a week to recover.”

Amy Poehler
saying from beer lover W.C. Fields

“Never trust a man who doesn’t drink.”

W.C. Fields

“It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.”

W.C. Fields 

“My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. “

Henny Youngman

“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.”

W.C. Fields
George Carlin beer quotation

“Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.”

George Carlin

“I drink with impunity…or anyone else who invites me.”

W.C. Fields
funny quote

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

Henny Youngman

Thespians On Beer

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”

Paul Newman

“Important people are much more interesting when they are drunk and seem much more like human beings. “

Marilyn Monroe

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger
drinking quote Dean Martin

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

Dean Martin

“Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.”

Jack Nicholson

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”

Drew Carey
funny drinking quote by Richard Burton

“I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.”

Richard Burton

Fictional and Anonymous

“To alcohol! The cause of – and solution – to all of life’s problems.”

Homer Simpson

 “Beer has food value, but food has no beer value.”


Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies and kids with fake IDs.

H. Simpson

Homer no function beer well without.

funny sayings

Do beer runs count as exercise?

Historical Boozers

 “A little bit of beer is divine medicine.”

Paracelsus, Greek physician
humour quote on beer Freddie Freak

“Beer will get you through time of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer.”

Freddie Freak

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”

Wilhelm II

“Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.”

Thomas Jefferson
Personalised Wall Mounted Beer Opener Gift For Him
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“Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.”

Queen Victoria

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

Benjamin Franklin

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”

Abraham Lincoln
Plato wisdom

“He was a wise man who invented beer.”


“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”

Winston Churchill

“How much beer is in German intelligence?”

Friedrich Nietzsche

“Note, that yeast of good Beer, is better then that of Ale.”

Kenelm Digby

Writers and Bard Drinkers

drinking wisdom

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

Ernest Hemingway

“And … and what is civilisation if it isn’t people talking to each other over a goddamned beer?”

James S.A. Corey

“Thirstily he set it to his lips, and as its cool refreshment began to soothe his throat, he thanked Heaven that in a world of much evil there was still so good a thing as ale.”

Rafael Sabatini

“I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer.”

Ernest Hemingway
famous ale quote by William Shakespeare

“Blessings of your heart, you brew good ale.”

William Shakespeare

“Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it’s all–hahhhh.”

Thomas Pynchon

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”

Ernest Hemingway

“Nothing ever tasted any better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to but more of the same.”

Hugh Hood
drinking class Oscar Wilde

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”

Oscar Wilde

“When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.”

Dave Barry

“Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.”

Kin Hubbard

“Oatcakes are a delicate relish when eaten warm with ale.”

Robert Burns
Henry Lawson beer sayings

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.”

Henry Lawson

“When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.”

Francois Rabelais

“And brought of mighty ale a large quart.”

Geoffrey Chaucer
drown sorrow

“People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.”

Ann Landers

“You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.”

Celia Rivenbark

“Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.”

Ray Bradbury

“What’s drinking? A mere pause from thinking!”

Lord Byron

“Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.”

A. E. Housman

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”

George Bernard Shaw

“Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.”

Matt Groening
funny alcohol quotes

“They who drink beer will think beer.”

Washington Irving

“A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there’s more conversation.”

William Blake

“Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer – it has always been thus.”

Peter Richmond

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed – Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”

Deep Thought, Jack Handy

“Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.”

W.H. Davies

“The troubles of our proud and angry dust are from eternity, and shall not fail. Bear them we can, and if we can we must. Shoulder the sky, my lad, and drink your ale.”

A. E. Housman

“That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.”

Charles Bukowski

“But if at church they would give some ale. And a pleasant fire our souls to regale. We’d sing and we’d pray all the live long day, Nor ever once from the church to stray.”

William Blake
funny beer quotes ideas

“I recommend…bread, meat, vegetables, and beer.”


“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

Dave Barry

Famous And Infamous

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”

Jena Legg

“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”

George Best

“Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it’s hard to stop drinking beer.”

Billy Carter

“It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church.”

Martin Luther
god and weed

“God made weed. Man made beer. Who do you trust.”

Kennedy Mmari

“For their own good, vegetarians should never be allowed near fine beers and ales. It will only make them loud and belligerent, and they lack the physical strength and aggressive nature to back up any drunken assertions.”

Anthony Bourdain

“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.”

Richard Braunstein

Popular Breweries

“Hoppiness is Happiness.”

Victory Brewing Companies Hop Wallop label.

“Remember “I” before “E”, except in Budweiser.”


“A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion.”

Jim Parker, discussing the importance of culture in a healthy pub setting.

Beer Quotations from Singers

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”

Frank Sinatra

“Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.”

Sammy Davis, Jr.

“Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.”

Kinky Friedman

“There are more old drunks than there are old doctors.”

Willie Nelson

“I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.”

Sid Vicious

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”

Frank Sinatra

“Nothing quenches the thirst like a wheat beer, or sharpens the appetite like an India pale ale. Nothing goes as well with seafood as a dry porter or stout, or accompanies chocolate like an imperial stout. Nothing soothes like a barleywine. These are just a few of the specialty styles of beer.”

Michael Jackson

“Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean…Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.”

Gerard Way

So laugh, lads, and quaff, lads, twill make you stout and hale; through all my days, I’ll sing the praise of brown October ale.”

Reginald De Koven

We hope you enjoyed a strong beer while reading through this collection of alcohol-related wit and wisdom. If you have any favourite quotes on beer, please feel free to add them in the comments section below. When you consume beer, it is impossible to be sad, Beer makes everything better!

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